There Is Life Outside Your Apartment

Princeton
Yeah
Listen, buddy, nobody's seen ya for two weeks
What's up with that?

I went to work for a temp agency, and they
Fired me for being too depressing on the phone
I maxed out my cards, I'm two months behind
In rent, I totally messed up my personal life
Oh, and Brian, I still haven't found my purpose.

All right get off your ass and stop worrying
Everyone's getting together to mess around the city today
Have fun
When I say everyone, that includes you.

There is life outside your apartment
I know it's hard to conceive
But there's life outside your apartment
And you're only gonna see it if you leave.

There is cool shit to do
But it can't come to you
And who knows, dude
You might even score.

There is life outside your apartment
But you got to open the door.

No, thanks, I'm staying in
Don't tell me I gotta force you
Sorry
All right, everyone! He's resisting.

There is life outside
There is life outside
There is life outside
There is life outside your apartment
There's a pigeon squashed on the street.

Ew.

There's a girl passing by
No I think it's a guy
And a homeless man
Who only wants to buy something to eat
Sorry, can't help you.

We could go to the zoo
Pick up girls at NYU
We could sit in the park smoking pot
Or not.

There is life outside your apartment.

Well, I guess I'll give it a shot.

There is life outside your apartment
I know
There is life outside your apartment.

I'm gonna jump
Don't do it
Okay.

There is cool shit to do
But it can't come to you
So come on
Get out of the way asshole
Fuck you.

There is life outside your apartment
Oh, you never know
What's around the bend
You could win the lotto
Or make a friend.

Take her home to see your apartment.

Do you wanna feel special?
I can see that you do
Well, I can make you feel
Special
If you let me feel you
She'll feel you.

Where's your pad?
Not too far
We could call you a car
We'll be fine, thank you! See ya
Hope you don't get Gonorrhea.

There is life outside your apartment
But now it's time to go home
There is life outside your apartment
It's time to go home.

There is life outside your apartment
It's time to go home
There is life outside your apartment
It's time to go home
There is life outside your apartment.

But now it's time to go home
For porn.