Body Beautiful Beale

[Edie]
Morning, all! Oh, what a beautiful ocean it is today! It's a sort of sapphire; I've never seen anything like that ocean...

[Gould]
Bum-ba-da-da-da-da-dum!
It's her - the swell-est belle around!
That pearl of the South Fork
The playboys of New York
Come thronging and "thwarming"
Like oystermen storming
The shallows of Long Island Sound...
To haul her into their nets.
For her incomparable claim to fame,
They call her by a special name...

[Edith] Gould! Don't turn her head so!
[Gould] They call her "Body Beautiful Beale."
[Edie] Oh, please.

[Gould]
Body Beautiful Beale.
High society's "it" girl,
East Hampton's ideal.

[Edie] Where's Daddy?

[Gould]
Body Beautiful's poise
Wows the millionaire boys.
Such a physically fit girl.

[Jackie] Swimming.
[Lee] Sunning.
[Edie] Christ, I'm stunning.

[Brooks]
Known for more than good looks
She's a lover of books.

[Edie] Thank you.

[Gould]
Poet laureates hail her splendor!

[Edie]
"Two roads diverged in yellow wood. Pondering one, I took the other." Honestly, isn't Robert Frost just the bee's knees?

[Gould]
Goddess beauteous
Gams to gluteus,
Yet when girlishness wanes

[Edie]
The Body Beautiful Beale has brains.

[Edith]
She rejected John Paul Getty.

[Edie]
All except his cash was petty.

[Brooks]
She rebuffed both Rockefellers.

[Edie]
Well, I never cared for bank tellers.

[Gould]
Howard Hughes she had no use for.

[Edie]
Guess who he named "Spruce Goose" for.

[Gould & Brooks]
Yet the man could not get airborne
With the choosy Bouvier fair born.

[Jackie]
Nicky Hilton's table d'hote.
Didn't float our cousin's boat.

[Edie]
Lu-huv for breakfast.
Lu-huv for lunch.
Lazy Sunday lu-huv for brunch.

[Lee]
Edie at the teadance
Never has a free dance.
One to the next, your time's up, bub!

[Jackie]
She's the cat's pajamas!

[Lee]
Hottest of the mammas-

[Jackie & Lee]
Ever to grace The Maidstone Club!

[Edie]
"Lu-huv" I sing, a thrush in threnody!

[Edith]
Lucky thing you hooked a Kennedy.
(As if on cue, in bounds Edie's intended, Joseph Kennedy, Jr.)

[Gould]
Bum-ba-da-da-da-da-dum!
It's him - Adonis of Cape Cod!
That Harvard cum laude,
Top clam in the "chowdah."

[Jackie & Lee]
The catch of Hyannis!

[Brooks]
The Navy's big man is
America's future Greek god.

[Gould]
And get a load of that bod...

[Joe]
Will someone tell me what's going on?

[Edie]
Oh, Joe, you're in the nick of time! How they're teasing me! And all about my silly nickname-

[Joe] You mean "Stilts?"
[Edie] No!
[Joe] "Amorous Edie, the Songbird of the Seventh Fleet?"
[Edie] Joe!

[Joe]
You must mean...
"Body Beautiful Beale."
My Body Beautiful Beale.
So well-bred and well-rounded.

[Edith] As round as her heel?
[Edie] Mother!

[Joe]
Style that money can't buy.
Smile as wide as the sky.
Eyes that keep a guy grounded.
Tender. Fearless.
Pensive. Peerless.
How, if Hollywood called,
Could I keep her enthralled?
Me, with only my heart to send her.
Guess I'll marry her.
Home I'll carry her,
Happy not to be free...
Since Body Beautiful Beale
Chose me.